


you've changed, sis

by Fimbulvetrstar



Category: Persona 5, Persona Series
Genre: Gen, also kinda spoils the sixth palace, i cried while writing this ngl, takes place after the third palace
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-05
Updated: 2017-06-05
Packaged: 2018-11-09 12:49:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11104896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fimbulvetrstar/pseuds/Fimbulvetrstar
Summary: Makoto runs her sister's name through the Meta-Nav and remembers how things used to be.





	you've changed, sis

**Author's Note:**

> this was an idea i'd been thinking about ever since getting to sae's palace, when makoto admits that she checked her sister's name in the nav before and had been keeping it secret due to her feeling like it would be a selfish request
> 
> makoto and sae and their relationship throughout all of p5 mean a lot to me, bc i have an older sister who is also the center of my world, and if i had been in makoto's position i don't know if i could have taken it nearly as well as she did. and even then she hurt a lot just from knowing her sister had developed her own palace due to how much she was suffering
> 
> sometimes, we fight too, and we hurt each others feelings just like makoto and sae do. but i feel like i understand exactly what makoto must have been feeling, because i would do anything to save my sister too, no matter what
> 
> ok i think im gonna just stop and let u guys read now bc im crying again anyway i hope this isn't too ooc or anything, i also wrote this kinda fast so im sorry if there are any mistakes
> 
> thank u for reading this bc it really does mean a lot

_In. Out. In. Out._

Makoto tried over and over to calm her rapidly quickening heartrate, but no amount of deep breathing could steady her trembling hand. Her room was dark, save from the soft light of her bedside table lamp, and from the glaring screen of her smartphone she held clutched in her grasp.

It shouldn’t be this hard, right? She had confronted a mafia boss twice, for God’s sake! She had become part of a supernatural world she couldn’t even pretend to fully understand, harnessing powers no normal person would believe even existed, and yet none of that had caused her to feel quite as she did right now.

How could Makoto do all of these things, and yet find that checking her sister’s name in the Meta-Nav was causing her more fear than all of it combined?

Recalling the conversation she had with Sae just that evening, she closed her eyes tightly.

_“What else is there besides success? Don’t ask me such childish questions.”_

_“I had plans set for a promotion, but no one can take credit for his arrest now with that confession… Not that a child would understand.”_

Before, Makoto would have shrugged it off as much as possible – it wasn’t like her sister hadn’t been acting this way ever since their father died. But now, with the knowledge she possessed of Palaces and the Metaverse… what else could possibly be causing the change in her?

Makoto noticed suddenly how tightly she was gripping her phone – it was almost surprising she hadn’t ended up crushing it in her fingers. Although it felt as though there were a weight pressing on her chest, Makoto sighed and sat on the edge of her bed, hunching over the luminescent screen. The red eye of the Meta-Nav’s icon stared back at her.

Steeling her resolve, she tapped it open. She clenched her other hand into a fist so hard, her nails bit into her skin.

The Nav was waiting for her response. The dryness of her mouth made it hard to speak.

“Sae Niijima.”

_Please don’t find anything._

There was an electronic beep, and then the exact words she had been dreading.

_“Candidate found.”_

Something within Makoto, the younger sister who could still remember how Sae _used_ to be, broke. Her jaw tightened, and she threw her phone into her schoolbag on the floor by her bedside in frustration. “Dammit, dammit, _dammit…!_ ” She tried to keep her voice down, but her cursing devolved into a sob before she could stop it.

 _Why did you have to change, Sis?_ _Why?!_ Her whole body shook as she cried silently, holding her face in her hands. _Why…?!_

Makoto could still remember the day of their father’s funeral. The weather had been sunny, with a sky free of clouds, and she hated it. Why couldn’t it have rained? Why did it have to feel like the world was continuing to turn when everything in _their_ world had been ripped away from them? She had angrily cried those words to Sae, who had never left her side through the whole ordeal.

And Sae had held her in her arms, soft and warm and comforting. But they hadn’t lost everything, Sae said, even as tears fell from her own eyes. They still had each other.

When had Sae decided that that wasn’t enough?

As Makoto’s sobs eventually faded to sniffles, she rubbed at her eyes and felt a wave of guilt for having such little faith in her sister. _No. Sae isn’t… she’s not the like the criminals who’ve had their hearts changed thus far._ The thought gave her some solace, but the nagging voice in the back of her mind refused to quiet down. What was she supposed to do with this information now that she knew?

 _She can still change. Maybe we won’t have to do anything._ The thought of confronting her sister’s Shadow made her feel sick, as if she had eaten something rotten. _But if it comes to it, I’ll… I'll do_ anything _to save her._

But for now, all she could do was hope it would never have to come to that.

* * *

“By the way, Makoto, ain’t there someone you can’t forgive either? Like, a heart you want to change?”

She would be lying if she said Ryuji’s question didn’t catch her off guard. Glancing at him, and at the others as their eyes shifted toward her, she felt her stomach twist in sudden anxiety. Clearly, they were waiting for an answer.

All she could hear was the voice of the Nav confirming the existence of her sister’s Palace in the darkness of her room last night.

She knew she could easily say no. But they were a team now - no, they were her friends. What would she gain from blatantly denying how she really felt?

So Makoto closed her eyes and let out the slightest breath of a laugh, hoping they wouldn’t hear the sadness that had buried itself deep within her heart.

“…That’s a secret.”


End file.
